All of This...

I lay here in this bed, nekkid, all alone. No, I didnt say lonely; just alone! I can smell my skin. Took a bath ya know. I begin to touch myself. No, I'm not masterbating silly. Just exploring all of this. *lookin at curves as if standing on the outside lookin in* Not really feeling sexual. Dont think thats it. Thinking I may need to set up my tripod and get out my remote. Been a hot minute since I shot all of this. *chuckle* Been a little overwhelming lately. Works hectic, as always. Have men in my life that I dont want. Get rid of em, you say? Its complicated. The one I want is soooooooooo far away. I have a desire to join all of this with another. Naw, not sex. I want all of this to belong to one only. When I smell myself or move, I want to think to myself "I bet he cant wait to see me." Its some strange awareness thingy. I cant explain it all too well. Just feeling it. I want him to want all of this and ravish me with just a glance. When I think of him, I want to feel as if he has touched all of this. Like if you and him are laying together and he reaches over and touches your hip. In the natural sense, you will feel his hand upon your hip and get some pleasure out of it. I want more than that. When he touches my hip, I want to feel as though he has touched all of this. Me! I wanna feel it all over. For right now, its just me and all of this...